I remember the first time a customer vasked me, wide-eyed and curious, “I want to try a sex toy, but I don’t even know where to start.” I’ve been in the sexual wellness space long enough to hear this question hundreds of times, and if you’re reading this, chances are you’ve asked it yourself. Choosing your first adult toy these days can feel overwhelming: there are shapes, materials, brands, technologies, and even entire categories designed for couples, women, and solo play with hundreds of different options.
Here’s the thing: the first toy you pick doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to teach you something about your body, how you experience pleasure, and what feels good. And it’s that plain simple. Just start somewhere, growth happens when you get out of your comfort zone.
Step 1: Start With Curiosity & Excitement
The biggest mistake beginners make is treating their first toy like a test or worst yet; a challenge. Pleasure should not be mixed with pressure, in any circumstances (unless it’s the right kind of pressure of your clitoral massager of course), and it should never be about performance, not when you do it solo, not in a relationship. It’s about exploring your body and developing an enhanced sexlife, regardless which stage or age you’re in.
Answering to your body’s natural call is really the best way to get things started, and it’s just as simple as it sounds, but we’ll give you a couple of useful tips as well. For women, most beginners start with external clitoral vibrators or bullet-style toys. For couples, wearable vibrators or app-controlled devices that can be used during intimacy are excellent introductions. The key is to pick a toy that matches your curiosity, not the hype.
Step 2: Understand the Different Types of Sex Toys
Knowing the categories and what’s best for different types of stimulation can save you from confusion and disappointment, and unnecessary expenditures:
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Bullet Vibrators: Small, discreet, and easy to control. Perfect for clitoral stimulation and first-time experimentation.
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Wand Vibrators: Provide broader, more powerful vibration. Ideal if you want strong, consistent stimulation, rumble in the jungle.
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Suction or Air-Pulse Toys: Offer a unique, gentle tapping sensation around the clitoris, similar to receiving oral stimulation. Great for sensitive users or those curious about new sensations and like to play with themselves.
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Couples’ Toys: Designed for shared play during intercourse and mutual exploration, enhancing the sensation simultaneously. Many are wearable or app-controlled to provide a helping hand in long-distance relationships.
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G-Spot Vibrators: Curved for internal stimulation; ideal for women who want to explore blended or vaginal orgasms.
You don’t have to try them all at once. I always recommend starting with one toy that feels approachable and fits your curiosity. Over time, you can always expand your collection and your playroom.
Step 3: Prioritize Safe Sex Toys and Body-Friendly Materials
This step is non-negotiable. Your first - and actually all- the toys should respect your body. Look for:
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Medical-grade silicone: Non-porous, hypoallergenic, and safe for internal and external use.
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Waterproof construction: Easier to clean and often safer for intimate hygiene.
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Simple controls: Beginners benefit from intuitive buttons or app interfaces rather than complicated sequences.
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Rechargeable batteries: Safer, more eco-friendly, and consistent in power delivery.
Important to note here to never skip cleaning and storage. A beginner-friendly toy is not only safe to use but easy to maintain, which makes your first experience more relaxing and confident. You’ll find a complete guide on that here, just save it for later when you already have your toy.
Lucky for you, every single product you’ll find on our website is already vetted, checked and cleared for you in terms of body-safety. One less thing to worry about in this cavalcade of choices.
Step 4: Consider Your Comfort Level
Your first toy doesn’t have to be flashy or expensive. In fact, I often recommend smaller, quieter toys for first-time users. They’re less intimidating, easier to explore without pressure, and allow you to learn what sensations you enjoy before moving on to more advanced options. Your body needs to adjust also, you probably shouldn’t start with the most advanced sex toy, so you can keep building up.
For couples, choose adult toys that enhance intimacy without feeling invasive to the relationship, noone likes a competitor in bed. Wearable vibrators, small bullets, or soft silicone rings can bring novelty to your sex life while keeping both of you really comfortable.
Step 5: Focus on Exploration, Not the Results
The first time you use a sex toy, treat it as a discovery session, not a performance. Sit back, relax, and notice:
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How your body responds to different speeds or patterns
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What positions or grips feel best
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Whether you prefer light teasing or more direct pressure
I always tell beginners: pleasure is personal. There’s no “right way” to use a toy, just go with the flow and stay curios and open-minded. That mindset alone removes so much anxiety.
For your first time, remove any obstruction that could block your happy hour; such as make time and privacy a priority, set the mood - the most important part is that you feel relaxed.
Step 6: Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions about Sex Toys
If you’re buying online, check product reviews, descriptions, and expert guides. Many EU adult toy shops offer educational content (yeah, you’re reading one now) about beginner-friendly options, materials, and intended use.
Feel free to ask questions from us, trust me, the team has heard it all, there are literally no dumb questions. Or if you’re shy, just simply exploring manufacturer guides can make a huge difference in confidence and satisfaction.
Remember, asking questions isn’t embarrassing, it’s part of responsible sexual wellness. This reminds me of something our sex-ed teacher told us back then, and itched its way into my head: If you feel embarrassed to buy yourself condoms, you’re not adult enough to have sex yet.
While it might sound too harsh, it really hits the nail right on the head.
Step 7: Embrace Curiosity With an Open Mind
Finally, the most important piece of advice I give every beginner here in the shop is this: approach your first toy with playfulness and patience. Some toys will surprise you, some sensations may take time to enjoy fully. And some days, a toy may feel irrelevant and on others it’ll take you straight to the heaven of heavens.
Your first sex toy is just the beginning to your enhanced sex life, it’s a tool for better learning your body, your sensational preferences, and your comfort with pleasure. Once you embrace that mindset, exploration becomes natural, and really fun.
Closing Thoughts: Your Pleasure, Your Guide
I’ve guided dozens of beginners through their first adult toy purchase, and it’s just like people with tattoos; once you decide to get your first, you end up getting another and another. This is because confidence and enjoyment grow as you go along and learn more about yourself when curiosity is prioritized over expectations.
Your first toy doesn’t need to be expensive, high-tech, or complicated, it just simply needs to cause you pleasure in a different and elevated way.
Whether it’s a bullet vibrator for solo exploration, a suction toy for gentle clitoral stimulation, or a couples’ toy that adds novelty to your intimate life, the right choice is one that feels fun and exciting.
Pleasure is deeply personal, and your journey starts wherever you are. Just take your time, listen to your body, and enjoy discovering the tools that help you feel confident, connected, and truly satisfied.
‘Life is too short to be shy’
A&E
